Our Philosophy
Welcome! The Joyful Puppy Foundation is a non-profit organization located in Davis, California that aims to support and guide your dog’s true, normal nature by giving them freedom in their environment. We view dogs as having an inner natural guidance for their own perfect self-directed development. A dog’s human companion is never viewed as an ‘owner’ or ‘master’. Rather, the role of a human in our training method is that of a guide, there to determine when the dog is ready for a new challenge.
Why ‘Commands’ Don’t Work
……All dogs have inherent inner directives from nature that guide their true normal development. By restricting the individual liberty of a dog to choose its own activities, the dog cannot progress to its natural state of being. Rather than employing the normal system of rewards and punishments for misbehavior, a guide must learn to refocus the dog back to a purposeful activity where they have observed success. If, for example, your labrador/pit bull mix continues to attack the smaller dogs and children in the neighborhood, try gently coaxing it away with a stick or piece of organic beef jerky.......
Curriculum Overview*
……The natural development of a dog proceeds through several distinct planes of development, each one having its own unique conditions and sensitive periods for acquiring basic faculties in the developmental process. The first plane (ages 0–6 months) involves basic personality formation and learning through physical senses. Sniffing other dogs butts and chewing on various personal items and furniture should be encouraged at this stage, as it strengthens your dog’s tactile curiosity. By chewing up your favorite pair of shoes or the blanket your grandmother made for you, your dog is identifying these things as part of his environment. Dogs are naturally perceptive and your tears of despair will eventually tell him ‘no’.
The second plane of development (6–12 months) involves learning through abstract, non-verbal reasoning, developing through a sensitivity for imagination and social interaction with others. Your dog will learn not to pee or make a doody in the house by watching you and other dogs relieve yourselves in the backyard or, for you apartment dwellers, on your nearest mailbox. During this plane of development, your dog’s ability to understand and remember visual sequences, interpret the meaning of the visual presentations given to him and understand the relationship between these concepts is at its peak. At this age, a healthy dog can easily come up with visual analogies, and recognize the cause-and-effect relationship in between a sequence of situations. We instruct our humans to lavish praise upon themselves when they have successfully ‘done their business’ outside and to reward themselves with a treat in front of their canine companion. Non-verbal reasoning is important to your dog as it becomes more equipped in analyzing and solving complicated problems without depending on their non-existent language abilities.
These lessons are given in such a way that the human guide carefully shows the precise use of materials, through isolated movements or steps, so as to leave the dog with a high potential for success and not to interfere with the dog's own free learning………
*Disclaimer
These statements are not approved or endorsed by the American Kennel Club (AKC), Fédération Cynologique Internationale, the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA), the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, PETA, or any law enforcement agency in either the United States or, internationally.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
It’s Time We Seriously Think About Talking About Going On That Road Trip We Kinda Want To Take
You guys, I’m serious. We should think about talking about that road trip up Highway 5 we kind of want to take. I mean, we’re not getting any younger. Carrie, you showed some mild interest in the Ashland Shakespeare Festival when we were in college and, Laura, you said that one time that Seattle was pretty. I’ve been thinking that Portland could be fun or maybe camping near crater lake? I’m not saying we have to commit to anything right now but, we really should think about having that conversation.
Thinking about having this conversation isn’t hard. I mean, it’s not like when we thought about starting our own band. The logistics of that kind of a project are pretty hairy – booking venues, setting up time at a recording studio, banging our groupies, not to mention trying to find the time to learn an instrument. Let’s be real, at our age, we don’t really have the energy for that kind of talk. Just bringing up the subject of starting a band makes me want to take a nap.
A road trip, the concept of one that is, is the kind of thing that people in their early to mid 30’s shouldn’t have a problem pondering in the abstract. I, personally, have a lot of things on my plate right now – like, I should do some grocery shopping, take that sweater back to Macy’s and set up that online boutique for my knitted pet clothes - but, I’m not going to let all that stop me from contemplating the level of discourse required to birth the idea of a tentative plan.
Carrie, I’m sensing some hesitation from you when I say ‘plan’. Let me be clear: in this situation ‘plan’ means something along the lines of a ‘verbal pencil sketch’. By no means do I expect or even want to nail down any kind of specifics beyond ‘road’ or ‘trip’. For our purposes right now, let’s not even link those two words. ‘Road’. What does that word even mean? Sure, it could be ‘an open way for travel’ or ‘a way or means to achieve something’. For now, let’s just leave it as an intangible concept, akin to ‘love’ or ‘hate’. It sounds so much less scary when you think of ‘road’ as an amorphous thing. Out there. Unknown. And, ‘trip’? Same deal. It’s just there. Four little letters that, when you string them together and pronounce them, make an intelligible sound. See, when you deconstruct things they’re not as overwhelming.
Thinking about talking about something also minimizes the energy you’d expended vocalizing those thoughts. When you think about it like that, it’s a no brainer. I’m talking to you right now but, I’d just as soon sit here in silence with you guys while we figure out whether or not we have anything to say. So, let’s do that. I’m going to just sit quietly and think some thoughts about thinking and you guys do the same. Actually, I’m kinda tired from all this talk. I’m going to table this for now and take a nap. We can think about talking about this at a later date.
Thinking about having this conversation isn’t hard. I mean, it’s not like when we thought about starting our own band. The logistics of that kind of a project are pretty hairy – booking venues, setting up time at a recording studio, banging our groupies, not to mention trying to find the time to learn an instrument. Let’s be real, at our age, we don’t really have the energy for that kind of talk. Just bringing up the subject of starting a band makes me want to take a nap.
A road trip, the concept of one that is, is the kind of thing that people in their early to mid 30’s shouldn’t have a problem pondering in the abstract. I, personally, have a lot of things on my plate right now – like, I should do some grocery shopping, take that sweater back to Macy’s and set up that online boutique for my knitted pet clothes - but, I’m not going to let all that stop me from contemplating the level of discourse required to birth the idea of a tentative plan.
Carrie, I’m sensing some hesitation from you when I say ‘plan’. Let me be clear: in this situation ‘plan’ means something along the lines of a ‘verbal pencil sketch’. By no means do I expect or even want to nail down any kind of specifics beyond ‘road’ or ‘trip’. For our purposes right now, let’s not even link those two words. ‘Road’. What does that word even mean? Sure, it could be ‘an open way for travel’ or ‘a way or means to achieve something’. For now, let’s just leave it as an intangible concept, akin to ‘love’ or ‘hate’. It sounds so much less scary when you think of ‘road’ as an amorphous thing. Out there. Unknown. And, ‘trip’? Same deal. It’s just there. Four little letters that, when you string them together and pronounce them, make an intelligible sound. See, when you deconstruct things they’re not as overwhelming.
Thinking about talking about something also minimizes the energy you’d expended vocalizing those thoughts. When you think about it like that, it’s a no brainer. I’m talking to you right now but, I’d just as soon sit here in silence with you guys while we figure out whether or not we have anything to say. So, let’s do that. I’m going to just sit quietly and think some thoughts about thinking and you guys do the same. Actually, I’m kinda tired from all this talk. I’m going to table this for now and take a nap. We can think about talking about this at a later date.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Stony Limits Cannot Hold Love Out, Nor Can This Court Order
Dear Courtney,
As you know, the terms of my probation dictate that I am to come no closer than 100 yards from your home, work and/or person. That’s cool. My love transcends such arbitrary restrictions. I want you to know that I see each and every item in this restraining order as a personal challenge. Like the great lovers that I read about in Folsom Prison’s library, I know in my heart that my persistence (that which you call stalking) will eventually win your heart.
If you really think about it, the night you had me arrested was just like the scene at Juliet’s balcony. Juliet is all alone and Romeo climbs up to her window, professes his love and then they have sex. Sure, you weren’t at a balcony and you weren’t sighing into the moonlight but, in my opinion, ‘asleep in bed’ is a fair modern equivalent. Now, I don’t want to get into a semantic argument here but, when a lady was wooed in Shakespeare time, she didn’t call it ‘forcible rape’, she didn’t hit her suitor over the head with a lamp and she certainly didn’t call the police. It’s okay. I’m not blaming you. You went to William McKinley high school and Mrs. Eddelson never taught you Shakespeare. It’s not your fault for not knowing these things.
Let’s look at a story I know you’re familiar with: The Odyssey. The essay I found in your parent’s house, the one you wrote when you were 17, showed a firm understanding of the ten eventful years Odysseus spent trying to return to his beloved, Penelope. I, like our hero, was blown off course when I was indicted and my crap public defender convinced me to pled in return for a lighter sentence. The Cyclops in this case was my cell mate, Big Jim, and, while I never got the chance to blind him with a wooden stake, I was freed from his possession when he sold me to the Aryan Nation prison gang. This gang was a lot like the cannibalistic Laestrygones and in the end, after being shanked in line at the cafeteria, I found myself in the hospital unit with my release (Ithaca, if you will) on the horizon.
Since you graduated magna cum laude from Berkeley with a degree in Medieval Studies, I know you’re with me when I say I am Dante in the Inferno. I’m not just saying that because my counselor in here at Folsom is named Virgil or because I went in on the day before Good Friday. My time in prison has been has been one circle of Hell after another and always with my Courtney (Beatrice) in mind. Enclosed is a picture of the tattoo I was branded with by my Aryan owners. It depicts me climbing out from under Big Jim after a particularly rough night. Until I can have it removed, I will think of it as a portrait of Dante climbing Satan’s fur to the sweet relief of Paradiso.
It is with a sad heart I conclude this letter but I face my last remaining nights knowing we shall be reunited soon and you will learn to see my love has been written of and retold since the dawn of humanity.
See you soon,
Kevin
As you know, the terms of my probation dictate that I am to come no closer than 100 yards from your home, work and/or person. That’s cool. My love transcends such arbitrary restrictions. I want you to know that I see each and every item in this restraining order as a personal challenge. Like the great lovers that I read about in Folsom Prison’s library, I know in my heart that my persistence (that which you call stalking) will eventually win your heart.
If you really think about it, the night you had me arrested was just like the scene at Juliet’s balcony. Juliet is all alone and Romeo climbs up to her window, professes his love and then they have sex. Sure, you weren’t at a balcony and you weren’t sighing into the moonlight but, in my opinion, ‘asleep in bed’ is a fair modern equivalent. Now, I don’t want to get into a semantic argument here but, when a lady was wooed in Shakespeare time, she didn’t call it ‘forcible rape’, she didn’t hit her suitor over the head with a lamp and she certainly didn’t call the police. It’s okay. I’m not blaming you. You went to William McKinley high school and Mrs. Eddelson never taught you Shakespeare. It’s not your fault for not knowing these things.
Let’s look at a story I know you’re familiar with: The Odyssey. The essay I found in your parent’s house, the one you wrote when you were 17, showed a firm understanding of the ten eventful years Odysseus spent trying to return to his beloved, Penelope. I, like our hero, was blown off course when I was indicted and my crap public defender convinced me to pled in return for a lighter sentence. The Cyclops in this case was my cell mate, Big Jim, and, while I never got the chance to blind him with a wooden stake, I was freed from his possession when he sold me to the Aryan Nation prison gang. This gang was a lot like the cannibalistic Laestrygones and in the end, after being shanked in line at the cafeteria, I found myself in the hospital unit with my release (Ithaca, if you will) on the horizon.
Since you graduated magna cum laude from Berkeley with a degree in Medieval Studies, I know you’re with me when I say I am Dante in the Inferno. I’m not just saying that because my counselor in here at Folsom is named Virgil or because I went in on the day before Good Friday. My time in prison has been has been one circle of Hell after another and always with my Courtney (Beatrice) in mind. Enclosed is a picture of the tattoo I was branded with by my Aryan owners. It depicts me climbing out from under Big Jim after a particularly rough night. Until I can have it removed, I will think of it as a portrait of Dante climbing Satan’s fur to the sweet relief of Paradiso.
It is with a sad heart I conclude this letter but I face my last remaining nights knowing we shall be reunited soon and you will learn to see my love has been written of and retold since the dawn of humanity.
See you soon,
Kevin
Monday, December 13, 2010
What The Children In My Second Grade Science Class Must Assume I’m Saying
Nathan, I would like you to lick the batteries I have passed out to each group. We can’t build this circuit without your saliva.
Remember kids, chemistry is a contact sport! You’re not a scientist until you’ve bloodied your neighbor’s nose!
Ryan. I would like you to experiment with the possible uses of a chair. Under no circumstances should you actually sit in it.
Class, let’s forget the Bernoulli Effect for now and concentrate on the water Katie spilled on her pants. It sure does look like she peed herself! Everyone point and laugh!
Mitchel! I would like you to pick your nose for thirty minutes straight! Atta’ boy! That’s how you test the pH of orange juice!
Now, Ian, be careful. This balloon I’ve inflated will kill you if it pops. Only your hysterics and tears of fear will save you.
Listen up, class! The popsicle sticks in front of you make really good lightsabers! Pretend you’re all Jedi knights!
Raise a quiet hand if your answer to the question I just asked about how we melt ice cubes is either a blank stare or relates to your favorite animal.
Liza, drink the cornstarch/water mixture in front of you.
Remember kids, chemistry is a contact sport! You’re not a scientist until you’ve bloodied your neighbor’s nose!
Ryan. I would like you to experiment with the possible uses of a chair. Under no circumstances should you actually sit in it.
Class, let’s forget the Bernoulli Effect for now and concentrate on the water Katie spilled on her pants. It sure does look like she peed herself! Everyone point and laugh!
Mitchel! I would like you to pick your nose for thirty minutes straight! Atta’ boy! That’s how you test the pH of orange juice!
Now, Ian, be careful. This balloon I’ve inflated will kill you if it pops. Only your hysterics and tears of fear will save you.
Listen up, class! The popsicle sticks in front of you make really good lightsabers! Pretend you’re all Jedi knights!
Raise a quiet hand if your answer to the question I just asked about how we melt ice cubes is either a blank stare or relates to your favorite animal.
Liza, drink the cornstarch/water mixture in front of you.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
I Am The Jane Fonda of Facebook Activism Memes
As most of you already know, I’m a deeply committed Facebook activist. I’m out there every day changing my profile picture or updating my status to raise awareness about everything from breast cancer to child abuse. Remember when I posted ‘I like it near the front door.’ on October 22, 2010? At first people were all “What?! She’s talking about sex?! She can’t do that!” But, then I was like, “Nah. It’s about my purse and breast cancer.” It was in that moment, responding to the comments on my wall, that I realized this controversy was a lot like the controversy that surrounded Jane Fonda when she visited Hanoi during the Vietnam War. She publicly denounced American military and political leaders in a series of propagandistic radio broadcasts and I wrote a brief sentence with a vague sexual innuendo. What do we have in common? Neither of us is afraid to cross lines.
Some of you are probably wondering to yourselves ‘How do you live with such conviction in these cynical times?’ Answer: You just have to be strong enough to copy and paste. You don’t have to really know anything about the cause either. I don’t know anything about the socio-political or historical aspects of what’s going on between Israeli and Palestine but, I didn’t let that stop me from changing my profile picture to the celebrity I most closely resemble in support of peace in the middle east. For me personally, it was a really hard stand to take because I had just been at a BBQ a few days before and had this super cute pic of me, Jenny and Katie posing like Charlie’s Angels in our bikinis. I would have much rather used that photo for my profile picture but I held on and Ally Sheedy (circa Breakfast Club, 1985) was on my page for a whole week because peace is a really good thing.
As most of you know we are currently protesting child abuse by changing our profile pictures to our favorite childhood cartoon. Protesting child abuse is a really difficult cause to get behind and I know some of you out there are probably afraid to sit at your computer and let your voice be heard but, ask yourself, ‘What would Ghandi do?’ I’m willing to bet that if he wasn’t too weak from his hunger strike, Ghandi would probably go with Optimus Prime and then click over to Threadless to see if his submitted tee-shirt design had any more votes since yesterday.
Being a committed activist is really hard but just remember, on Facebook, you don’t actually have to do anything to feel like you did.
Some of you are probably wondering to yourselves ‘How do you live with such conviction in these cynical times?’ Answer: You just have to be strong enough to copy and paste. You don’t have to really know anything about the cause either. I don’t know anything about the socio-political or historical aspects of what’s going on between Israeli and Palestine but, I didn’t let that stop me from changing my profile picture to the celebrity I most closely resemble in support of peace in the middle east. For me personally, it was a really hard stand to take because I had just been at a BBQ a few days before and had this super cute pic of me, Jenny and Katie posing like Charlie’s Angels in our bikinis. I would have much rather used that photo for my profile picture but I held on and Ally Sheedy (circa Breakfast Club, 1985) was on my page for a whole week because peace is a really good thing.
As most of you know we are currently protesting child abuse by changing our profile pictures to our favorite childhood cartoon. Protesting child abuse is a really difficult cause to get behind and I know some of you out there are probably afraid to sit at your computer and let your voice be heard but, ask yourself, ‘What would Ghandi do?’ I’m willing to bet that if he wasn’t too weak from his hunger strike, Ghandi would probably go with Optimus Prime and then click over to Threadless to see if his submitted tee-shirt design had any more votes since yesterday.
Being a committed activist is really hard but just remember, on Facebook, you don’t actually have to do anything to feel like you did.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
I May Steal Cars But, You Are A Terrible Parent
Hey, man, when I first arrived at this Winn-Dixie, I was looking for a car to steal. I found your brand new midnight blue suburban, keys in the ignition, motor still running and thought to myself “BINGO! Adios, suckers.” Do you know how much I can get for that when I strip it for parts? Neither do I but, I was really looking forward to finding out.
Anyway, I had only driven for about three blocks when I heard a voice ask “What are you doing?” At first I thought my conscience had finally caught up with me. I mean, you can only steal so many cars before you start examining your life choices, right? Then the voice said “You’re not my Daddy.” and I realized I wasn’t actually alone in the car; and, on a more existential level, it dawned on me that my subconscious was still okay with the whole grand theft auto thing.
I may steal cars here and there but, you left a three year old unattended in the parking lot of a Winn-Dixie. Are you stupid? Kids are precious, man. All kinds of things can happen to a toddler when you aren’t there to watch them. Never mind that I just technically kidnapped your kid for a few minutes while you were grabbing some milk, that’s bad enough but what if I hadn’t been there? Shit, this kid could have started playing with the windows and gotten his neck stuck. What would have happened if he’d started playing with the gear shifts? Accidents happen every year, man. Think about it. Do you know how many laws you just broke? I ought to call the cops on you.
Look, no harm was done here. Your kid is okay, the car is back. Let’s keep the police out of it. Here, take twenty bucks. Next time you need to pick up milk, hire a sitter. It’s on me.
Anyway, I had only driven for about three blocks when I heard a voice ask “What are you doing?” At first I thought my conscience had finally caught up with me. I mean, you can only steal so many cars before you start examining your life choices, right? Then the voice said “You’re not my Daddy.” and I realized I wasn’t actually alone in the car; and, on a more existential level, it dawned on me that my subconscious was still okay with the whole grand theft auto thing.
I may steal cars here and there but, you left a three year old unattended in the parking lot of a Winn-Dixie. Are you stupid? Kids are precious, man. All kinds of things can happen to a toddler when you aren’t there to watch them. Never mind that I just technically kidnapped your kid for a few minutes while you were grabbing some milk, that’s bad enough but what if I hadn’t been there? Shit, this kid could have started playing with the windows and gotten his neck stuck. What would have happened if he’d started playing with the gear shifts? Accidents happen every year, man. Think about it. Do you know how many laws you just broke? I ought to call the cops on you.
Look, no harm was done here. Your kid is okay, the car is back. Let’s keep the police out of it. Here, take twenty bucks. Next time you need to pick up milk, hire a sitter. It’s on me.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Everyday Acts Of Espionage: Part One
1. Operation Zoolander. Your mission is a reconnaissance-push effort. Your target is a white male between the ages of 28 and 34, approximately 5’11” with sandy brown hair and unbelievably blue eyes. Your area of operation will be confined exclusively to the coffee house he frequents. Preliminary survey indicates that the subject is partial to double lattes, no foam; absence of a wedding ring suggests the individual is unmarried though the possibility that said individual has informally coupled with another remains. Our sources report that the subject has been seen in the presence of three or four extremely attractive women between the ages of 23-26; they are to be presumed hostile until their disposition can be assessed. Your objective in this maneuver is to gain greater visibility on this specific person of interest and to confirm or deny his heterosexuality and dating potential; under no circumstances are you to engage the subject at this time in any way. Your cover will be that of a coffee shop patron drinking coffee and accessing the free wifi offered by the establishment.
2. Operation Big Cat. Deep operations must be employed stressing combined arms cooperation at all levels: strategic, operational, and tactical. Following her 32nd birthday, your partner agent was compromised and turned by a counterintelligence group known only as ‘Cougars.’ Members of this group are exclusively female and between the ages of approximately 34 to 48. Intelligence reports indicate that members of ‘Cougar’ stalk and devour males roughly ten years their junior. They operate in cells of 4-8 individuals with no known central organization. Your objective is to infiltrate the cell and bring back your partner alive at which point, she will be debriefed and have her mental status assessed. The leader of this particular cell and, the one with whom you must make contact, goes by the name ‘Stephanie’ or ‘Stephie.’ She is to be considered extremely dangerous. You are on your own on this mission. If you are compromised and your objective revealed your status will be labeled ‘presumed dead’ and you will be disavowed as an operative.
2. Operation Big Cat. Deep operations must be employed stressing combined arms cooperation at all levels: strategic, operational, and tactical. Following her 32nd birthday, your partner agent was compromised and turned by a counterintelligence group known only as ‘Cougars.’ Members of this group are exclusively female and between the ages of approximately 34 to 48. Intelligence reports indicate that members of ‘Cougar’ stalk and devour males roughly ten years their junior. They operate in cells of 4-8 individuals with no known central organization. Your objective is to infiltrate the cell and bring back your partner alive at which point, she will be debriefed and have her mental status assessed. The leader of this particular cell and, the one with whom you must make contact, goes by the name ‘Stephanie’ or ‘Stephie.’ She is to be considered extremely dangerous. You are on your own on this mission. If you are compromised and your objective revealed your status will be labeled ‘presumed dead’ and you will be disavowed as an operative.
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